By Scovia Masika, Kasese Uganda (March 2015)- Many young people including me have confessed that before signing the UCE commitment card, they would make resolutions to stop fornicating, but would fail to overcome the temptation. Yet, from the time they signed the chastity commitment card, there has been a supernatural power that helps them to control their sexual feelings, and to later use those feelings in a Godly way. I came from a situation that some might call hopeless. At the age of 13, as I began my secondary school studies, my beauty, misuse of time, desire for fame, free gifts and car rides, isolation, and bad peer influences led me to take a wrong path. I began to have sex with multiple partners, which led to smoking, alcohol, drugs, pornography, and then to prostitution. I was suffering, lost, and without hope until a new message came to me. A team came to me with a message of chastity, and I allowed the power of Christ to change my heart. I made a commitment to chastity. With Christ, it is never too late for us. He is, as we say in Uganda, a God of second chance. My name is Scovia, and this is my story.
In my early days, I remember hearing my mother talk to her friends. She would tell them that she wished and wanted me to study successfully through “O” and “A” levels, up to University. I quote her words, “I would rather sell off everything I have, as long as my daughter studies up to University for a degree.” Just like my mother, I, Scovia, wished the same for myself, but unfortunately, I did not make the wish come true. Why? I misused my life, time, and beauty as a student. I know I greatly hurt the feelings of my parents. I wounded their hearts.
As soon as I joined secondary school, at the age of 13, boys started flocking around me, asking me to be their date. Due to a lack of awareness about my body changes and guidance on how to manage them, I became excited thinking that I was beautiful and great. I decided to make the boys and myself happy by positively responding to their calls. Having multiple partners was not a problem for me. Different boys would give me different gifts. I had a character of simplicity that made my multiple partners (each one of them) think that he was the only one dating me. The slogan I used with the boys was always, “My one and only.” At home, I was a well-behaved girl, but away from home, I was a drunkard, a prostitute, a disco fan, a smoker of cigarettes and marijuana, and a crooked student.
I have been gifted with singing and dancing, among other gifts. In secondary school, I admired the boys and girls who were current in the news about popular artists and their music. They could copy and mime the music as though it was their own. I therefore concentrated on writing down songs and memorizing them so that I could talk, sing, and dance currently. I also desired to behave currently, especially by listening to international music, and following their movies. My primary happiness as a student was, knowing popular musicians, their music, and their lifestyle. Passing exams was my secondary happiness. The number of my sexual partners increased because I spent much time at discos, and needed different boys who could sing, dance, and were current in music.
A student is supposed to make themselves famous by aiming for higher performance in school, and by following school rules and regulations. This would make them be recognized by the school administration, fellow students, parents, and the entire community. I, instead, wanted to be famous by extraordinary indecency and immorality. In so doing, I took interest in funny behavior like dressing and dancing very immodestly, so that I would easily be recognized as people would wonder, “Who is that?” I would also make to situate myself in unsafe areas so I would be known as brave. I always wanted to be the first to know and introduce anything at school before others knew about it, for example, I was once suspended from school because I introduced an indecent hair style. At school, I deliberately did many “don’ts” in the name of fame and recognition. Having multiple sexual partners, to me, was being famous. All this hindered my progress in school.
In going to discos and bars, the men would buy things for me. I started with one bottle of beer, then two, three, four, and eventually I got used to taking many. I eventually got bored, and did not want to continue with only beer. I began to smoke cigarettes first, then Marijuana. Drinking and smoking made me so reckless that I was not afraid of escaping from school to go to bars and clubs, in the company of similar friends. In the same way, fornication was no longer a sin in my mind. I cared less about the consequences like shame, early pregnancies, and HIV/AIDS and other STDs.
I, Scovia, had never wished to be a prostitute, but was made one because of pornography. Naturally and normally, we have sexual feelings, which are a gift from God, but are meant for either marriage or are given to God with the gift of ourselves, such as with Catholic Priests and Religious.
From my friends’ influence, I started watching pornographic movies, reading pornographic magazines and listening to pornographic stories. The actors and actresses would express happiness, which would arouse my sexual feelings so that I would wish to practically enjoy what I watched. I would imagine the pleasure I would get if I practiced what I watched.
I eventually gave birth to a beautiful girl. In the psychological silence of being a young and miserable mother, I resolved to avoid all the things that provoked my sexual feelings in such a way. After my beautiful baby girl was seven months old, I joined a Primary Teachers’ College to earn a Grade III Certificate. I did not know that some music was pornographic until I became a mother and could not hang out with friends anymore to watch movies and read magazines with nude pictures and pornographic stories. At college, I was exposed to more pornographic music, which made me begin to sexually miss John, Sam, Steve and whomever. The music would make me recall many of my past erotic moments and wish for more. Without the movies and magazines, these songs lured me again into sexual activity and intercourse.
Before Universal Chastity Education (UCE), I tried to commit myself to avoid fornication, an act with which I had displeased God for many years. Yet, everyone loves to be helped in simplifying tasks. I was, one evening, doing the task of walking home when one of my ex-boyfriends approached me while driving. My ex-boyfriend asked to give me a lift. I accepted the offer because I had known him before as a simple and not arrogant young man who would not divert my intentions.
He, a Muslim, started playing gospel music and disguised to have fallen in love with that particular song about the blood of Jesus, as he caressed his chest. Little did I know that he was confusing me not to sense danger because he knew I would reject his advances. He never said anything about our past sexual relationship, so I thought I was safe as we went ahead. Suddenly we stopped, and entered a hotel against my wishes because I could not jump out of an accelerating car. He told me that the reason we were there was for me to explain to him why I decided to break up with him.
The hotel was new to me and it had faint lights so that I sheepishly followed my guide. I found myself in a drinking room with a provision of a bed. Surprised, I thought to myself, “It looks funny for an adult like me running to escape from a hotel like a thief,” secondly, “I am sure he can not force me into sex because he has never done that to me before.” He asked me some questions, which I answered as he stealthily touched the weak points on my body. He succeeded in making my body sexually weak until I could not, at that time, reject his sexual demands. My heart was, sincerely, not willing but because my body was weak, I had intercourse, which I was not ready for, neither had I planned for it. I have learned that, it is very possible for the body to betray the heart (soul) if one is not careful with sexual feelings which are, after all, a gift from God.
I continued to try to avoid sexual immorality. Yet many of my old friends were males. They know my wishes and interests, and I know theirs. Just as the devil overcomes human beings by temptation, women and men overcome each other by doing the same.
My friend, Marahi, knew the kind of literature I enjoyed reading. He one time invited me to pick out a book of my interest from his house, to read through before he took it back to the owner. I quickly rushed to his house because I was not afraid of him since he had never shown any sign of having had a crush on me. Inside his house, he directed me to get it for myself from a shelf, which was besides his bed. He immediately followed me up, held me tight by the bed, and before he forced me into sex, I thought to myself, “If I make an alarm, any rescuers will blame me or not believe me because I entered a man’s house alone.” I would be ashamed. Eventually, I accepted to have sex with him because I thought that no one would believe my innocence. It was a tragic event that I was again involved in what I was not ready for and had neither planned for. It was a lesson for me that I cannot go the house of the opposite sex alone.
TRANSFORMATION
A friend invited me for a youth conference, at her Church in 2006, where university students were going to share their experiences. “University students are known to enjoy immorality, sexual intercourse, and having multiple sexual partners,” they stated. They said that this was a misconception that was caused by a lack of awareness. They proved to us that sexual abstinence was not a myth, but a reality as they told us of their experiences. The students talked about cards whereby they had signed and committed themselves to such a lifestyle of abstinence until a faithful marriage.
I remember the words of one of the students, Joseph, he said, “We are normal human beings who have normal sexual feelings, but we have committed ourselves to abstinence until marriage. After being educated about the consequences of sexual immorality, we accepted to sign commitment cards. These commitments were witnessed by our pastor who even prayed over us to be faithful in our commitment. The cards are not meant to delete our sexual feelings, and they would not stop temptation from coming our way, but our commitments help us to have control over our bodies. For example, whenever I am sexually tempted and about to mess up, even when a woman is already in my arms, the statement on my commitment card flashes in my mind: “Believing that true love waits, I make a commitment to God, myself, my family, my future mate and my future children to be sexually pure until the day I give myself only to my marriage partner, in a covenant marriage relationship,” and I begin to slowly release from the sexual temptation.”
I admired those beautiful and handsome young people who gave me such a message. I imagined how proud they were having managed what is called an impossibility by many. I desired to be like them, but who would guide me in that procedure? My heart was willing to abstain but I asked myself, “What about the body that bears sexual feelings?” Those students must be managing because they have tangible reminders (the cards), and a physical witnesses. I, Scovia, who did not have these things ran to my Church. I knelt before Jesus, wept, and made a promise to stop fornicating, and prayed for the grace to be resistant to sexual temptation. Still, I desired that the change of my heart could have a physical witness, and I could have a card such as those university students who came and talked to us.
Now, in August 2010, I was invited for three days Universal Chastity Education (UCE) training. They invited the youth of my diocese, Kasese, where they would soon begin reaching out to secondary schools. Now, I received my long awaited heart’s desire. I and other youth signed chastity commitment cards on the 25th August, 2010. We were prayed over by our youth chaplain. This time, my heart’s long time desire, of a tangible reminder and physical witnesses, was met. So whenever I am sexually tempted, I also recall the words of my commitment, “Believing that true love waits…” I also used to fear shame before my witnesses. I no longer live in shame.
SUMMARY ON HOW I MANAGE TO ABSTAIN
- UCE chastity commitment. I am always reminded by the commitment I made. It bears my own witness to me.
- I hate to be fooled. I don’t want others to make a fool out of me the way they used to when I was promiscuous.
- Qualification and readiness. I have to ask myself, am I ready to be a wife and mother? I never asked myself that question when I was in school. I also must ask also, is this man I am with is ready to be a father and a husband? If so, then he should marry me such that we then begin a family.
- I now avoid free lifts and offers from the opposite sex because I have tasted the danger in them.
- I stopped going for night clubs/discos to avoid the bad peer influence.
- I am careful about being in isolated places with the opposite sex because I am normal and I possess sexual feelings.
- I stopped drinking, smoking, and drugs.
- I stopped provoking my sexual feelings by watching, reading, and listening to pornography (movies, magazines, music, and stories).
- I set goals for myself, and work towards those things that are important to me.
BENEFITS OF CHASTITY
Just like any other woman, I am conscious of the indicators of pregnancy. Before I started abstaining from sex, these indicators would sometimes show up and I would get terrified in fear of a pregnancy I was not ready for. Out of stress, my mind would fall into thoughts of shame, rejection, abortion, etc.
- I am now worry-free. Free from feelings of shame, rejection, and STDs.
Here in Africa, whistling and hissing at someone is a means of calling to a person whose name is not known, yet the person is known to be undignified. It cannot be done to an honorable person. Before I started living this healthy life of abstinence from sex until marriage, I was undignified so much that boys and men would whistle and hiss at me; a call to prostitutes. Now, I am transformed. I have never gone along the streets announcing my transformation, but God has somehow indicated it on me because most people realize my renewal by themselves.
- I am now dignified so that boys and men have never again whistled and hissed at me. Individuals who have ignorantly been tempted to try whistling and hissing at me have always been silenced by their colleagues in my presence. My healthy character has gained me favor and honor.
It is a good feeling for someone who suddenly finds themselves managing a thing (sexual temptation) that defeats many, even a thing which previously defeated them. This was a so-called impossibility. It surprises me, a girl with whom fornication was like a game, that I can now manage my sexual feelings.
- I am now proud of the fact that I can defeat the challenge of sexual impurity month after month, year after year. I feel more proud when young people consult me and ask, “Scovia, how do you manage?”
THE VALUE OF SIGNING THE COMMITMENT CARD
Many young people including me have confessed that before signing the UCE commitment card, they would make resolutions to stop fornicating, but would fail to overcome the temptation. Yet, from the time they signed the chastity commitment card, there has been a supernatural power that helps them to control their sexual feelings, and to use those feelings in a Godly way.
REQUEST
As a normal human being bearing sexual feelings, I am still in the race, struggling to remain faithful to my promise. Continue to pray for me that I continue to overcome temptation.
SUPPORT SCOVIA AS A UCE MISSIONARY
(From the UCE Executive Director) Scovia is a UCE Volunteer, and travels around Uganda sharing her powerful testimony of transformation. We would like her to join the team as a fulltime UCE missionary. If you are able to support her on a monthly basis please email me, Andrew, the UCE at contact@uceglobal.org, or go to this page, and set up a monthly donation through paypal. For $51 per month, you can support Scovia in sharing her story of redemption with thousands more young people in Uganda. You may support her with any amount, any amount per month will help! Please consider giving up 1 meal dining out a month for Scovia, UCE, and the youth of Uganda. If you support Scovia for any amount, she will send you quarterly reports on the activities she and the team are carrying out.
